Let's own and live our truth

Dear Diary: The day I was told my dad has cancer.

Good Morning Guys! I am so sorry I haven’t posted in a long few days but I am really bad at time keeping when it comes to those things! I do plan of coming up with an upload schedule just to make yours and my life easier in the future… but only once this blog is up and running properly!

 

I saw one of my best friends Manon yesterday for dinner, we talked about so many things –and it does actually feel really good to talk you know! One of those things was, the announcement of my dad’s cancer to me.

As far as I remember, this isn’t a day I really have spoken about –or even thought of – for a while now. Everything just went so very fast after this, I don’t think I ever truly processed exactly what was happening. I mean come on, you never really expect to hear those things come out from your parent’s mouth do you?

I believe it was on the 9th of December 2015. I had received a call a couple days earlier from them, when I was at work. For those of you who don’t know, Christmas period in London, working in events is absolutely MENTALyou have to be a little “cray” to do it in the first place I say.  Anyways, my parents called me on a Saturday morning I believe to announce that the blood results were not as they had hoped for but that they were still waiting on some tests. I started crying out in the middle of the office, and everyone was so nice as to let me go home for a couple days whilst the events’ madness was still going on.

I got home that night of the 9th of December – at least that’s the date of the picture on my Iphone –  and I remember opening the door to my dad, having lost quite a few kilos in a very short time. We all sat on the sofa, and then my parents told me something along the lines of: “the doctors thought the tumor may have been benign, they have run some test and it turns out it is cancer in the pancreas. They have already planned the treatments; I will have to do some chemo to reduce it, before I can get the operation to remove it.” I can honestly say, I had not one clue as to what this actually would mean for the coming years, I just knew in that moment that things were about to change. We all stayed positive that night – I mean what else can you do really? ­– and he started the treatments not so long after.

If you haven’t been through something like this, I don’t believe you can quite grasp or know what your reaction would be like. I know for a fact, 3 years down the line today that, back then, I DID NOT have a single clue of what was said to me, and did not understand what would come of it. And to be honest, I am glad I didn’t because this helped me ­­– and still does – stay positive and hopeful all throughout these days. You put life into perspective, and you understand that it is so precious, there is no point being miserable or complaining for little things.

This post is in no way aimed to make you feel bad this morning, but rather to give you hope. Cancer is one of the shittiest words on the planet, and I used to be so very scared of it – and very much still am­ – but you can still make so many great memories after the diagnosis. You can still go on holidays, laugh, watch movies and go to restaurants… Do all the little things you used to do, but not take them for granted from now on! – I mean how great is that?? Haha

I promise something more light-hearted on the next one, but I hope this ends end helping someone going through something similar.

 

Alix’s wisdom words of the day ­– imagine me with a long white beard please :

“I can’t tell you it won’t be hard, but I can promise you that every moment, from now on, will be worth it.”

A.                                                    Picture: 9th December 2015

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